Specializing in Sleep & Reflections on Slumber (Part I)

Reflections for those practicing the Jewish faith

Credit: pxhere.com

Special Note: for this article, I decided to spell the name of the LORD in the way that some who practice the Jewish faith spell it in written English (“G-d”) since the Scriptural reflections are especially in honor of them.

Among the various challenges with which I treat as a behavior analyst for children with ASD, sleep issues are a recurring trouble for my clients and their families.  It is not that there is some genetic make-up that makes them poor sleepers, but rather they can have indirect predispositions and behavioral patterns which make it difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep for the right amount of time at the right times.

About 5 or 6 years ago, I started addressing sleep issues in a more concentrated way using Dr. Greg Hanley’s Sleep Assessment and Treatment Tool (SATT).  This gave me a primer on some of the ways sleep problems are categorized and treated.  I continued using this intermittently with different clients and saw moderate success; however, I recently had a blessed opportunity to receive additional training and specialization in treatment of sleep issues through “Ready Set Sleep” in order to acquire a certification as a Certified Behavioral Sleep Specialist.  I was first drawn in by the insightful posts from the founder, Emily Varon, MS, BCBA.  I highly recommend checking out her social media posts and her blog to learn more about the benefits of sleep, as well as checking information from the CDC. 

I plan to keep learning even more about sleep being newly certified, but I would like to share with you all some personal takeaways from the training.  

Regarding My Own Children: Timing is a Huge Factor

Sleeping In

I didn’t realize how much letting my kids “sleep in” (including longer naps) affects their sleep at night.  I had no idea there was a hormone that gives us “sleep pressure” and that the hormone is depleted while we sleep.  Now we know what kind of a night we are in for when the kids nap after 3 PM.

Waking Windows

I learned how long my kids should be awake based on their ages.  I only had a general sense that “babies sleep a lot, kids need a good amount of sleep, and adults can get by with less sleep than kids.”  The concept of age-based “waking windows” (how long we should be awake) totally shifted my perspective.

Being more intentional and precise about when my wife and I send our kids to bed has helped us to plan more effectively what kind of evening and morning we want with our children and without our children.  Both times are important for a flourishing marriage.

Regarding My Clients & Their Families: Trust

In healthy childhood development, a child pursues trust as a value which further develops in an experience of security within the family.  What I see most frequently when there are issues of clinging to parents at bedtime is a lack of trust and subsequent anxiety experienced by the child being left alone in a room (yes, these can be conceptualized behaviorally as functions of negative reinforcement).  Have you tried falling asleep or staying asleep when you feel anxious or even unsafe?  It is very difficult to do.  

Part of ABA treatment, apart from treating sleep issues, might include teaching healthy separation which is a developmental milestone.  Quoting my sleep treatment mentor, “if you see separation anxiety during the day, you will see separation anxiety at night.”

There is a cycle of avoiding tantrums and/or “getting the cuddles” (which might be the only opportunity for the parent to cuddle with a child who may or may not tolerate that kind of affection during the day).  What a tough situation for parents who are in the thick of this apparent catch-22 – wanting to alleviate the distress of their children and/or get that bonding time together while trying to simultaneously ease the child to bed.  To anyone experiencing this, you are not alone and there are solutions.  

As one of the first steps in addressing separation anxiety, it is good to teach object permanence (i.e., responding to stimuli not immediately sensed by sight, sound, touch, etc.) such as by playing peek-a-boo.  This critical awareness then needs to develop further into trust.  Mom still exists even when she leaves the room. I can trust her to leave because I know she can come back.  The trust culminates to the point when Mom, Dad, or a caregiver can leave a room during the day and even at night.   There can be many steps in between, and the number of steps depends on the learner. 

Being half-Cuban, I have grown up hearing the phrase “Oh, he (or she) has got the mamitis” (ma-MEE-tees) which roughly translates to “clinging to Mom” or having anxiety when Mom is not present or available.  Working as a behavior analyst has meant holding two things to be true and good for clients: (1) unconditional, generous, loving affection and (2) realistic, concrete, firm boundaries.  Sleep treatment is best done with this integrated approach as with all skill-building — in the context of a relationship based on truth, freedom, and love. 

Reflections with My Elder Spiritual Siblings

To my spiritual elder siblings, those that practice the Jewish faith: I would like to continue to build a stronghold of shared faith that we have with our Creator by sharing the following brief reflections on the role of sleep that G-d has given in the story of His People:

The First Rest Was G-d’s Rest

G-d made rest — He knows we need it and even modeled rest for us on the 7th day of creation.  Sleep is good!  We should start from a place of gratitude when we consider the gift that G-d gives us in our sleep — that He beholds us and delights in us the way a parent beholds and delights in a child sleeping.  The child is not loved because of his or her productivity.  The child is loved because he or she simply is and is begotten by G-d.  

Out of Man’s Sleep, G-d Brought the Climax of Creation: Woman

Sometimes, G-d works in the human act of sleep.  Adam’s sleep allowed G-d to bring forth Adam’s wildest dream — Eve.  Then their “sleep” resulted in new life in begetting their children.  There is a mysterious connection between the marital union and the act of sleep.  Both require a submission of the will whether mutually to each other (as in the marital act) or as an individual falling asleep entrusting one’s safety to the providence of G-d.  Both are associated with the bed — the bridal chamber as in the Song of Solomon (Song of Songs).  There is a union with one another preceding a “kind of union” with G-d by entering the deepest recesses of our mind and heart where He is.  We can enter into that sacred space via sleep.  It is in the quiet and stillness that we can be still and know that He is G-d (Ps 46:10).  

The Role of Dreams

What does behavior analysis say about dreams?  As you might expect it is conceptualized as “covert” (internal) behaviors which are responses to environmental stimuli, namely the body and the person’s experiences.  Therefore, what you put into the body and what you did that day, the day before, the week before, etc., matters a great deal in how and what you dream.  Yet, G-d elevates our sleep to be more meaningful.  The imaginary dialogue in which we engage or observe while we sleep can carry meaning.  The images we see while we sleep can come from and beget our growth and behavioral development.  

Perhaps the most famous example in the Scriptures is “Joseph the Dreamer.”  G-d graces the natural experiences of Joseph being so beloved by his father by giving him supernatural dreams of great meaning to be taken seriously (Gn 37: 3-11).  Some might be quick to say that we should be cautious to take our dreams literally or with great weight – I agree.  However, we are still confronted with the laws of behaviors – the dream did not come from nowhere.  The dream came from something, and that alone is worth pondering.  It may be G-d allowing you to see or hear something to which you may not be open during the day.  Only when we are asleep can our defenses be down in the most docile manner.  This kind of docility begets peace as we pray with the psalmist: “In peace I will lie down and fall asleep, for you alone, LORD, make me secure” (Ps 4:9). 

Don’t Fall Asleep Drunk

There seem to be cautionary tales about falling asleep drunk in regards to Noah (Gn 9:21-22), Lot (Gen 19:33-36), and Holofernes (Judith 13:2-8,15).  I believe G-d is sending a clear message to us all that alcohol was not meant to be taken in such quantities, especially before bedtime!  For more information on the overall effect of alcohol, Dr. Matt Walker has episodes on this topic and others relating to sleep.  Check out his podcast!

It’s Okay to Take a Nap

When the prophet Elijah was being pursued by the evil queen Jezebel, he went into hiding and “prayed for death” (1 Kgs 19:4)  G-d waits for Elijah to sleep and then wake up before advising him to eat something (v. 5).  Sometimes all we need is a good nap and a snack so that we are better disposed to do the will of G-d.  The Catholic theologian Thomas Aquinas has more to say about this and I will share that reflection in Part 2. 

Body and Soul

Both Jews and Christians believe in the unity of body and soul.  Also, according to Rabbi Menachem Schneerson’s reflection, there should be a correspondence between our head, heart, and hands, as is also promulgated by Catholic philosophers Dietrich von Hildebrand (1965), Peter Kreeft (2020 & 2024), and yours truly.  What does this have to do with sleep?  G-d made our bodies good and to be in harmony with our soul – to be integrated just as our head, heart, and hands should be integrated.  If our sleep is poor, we will most likely experience a “bottom-up” effect in which not only our body is sleep-deprived, but also our soul is “rest-deprived.”  Conversely, “rest-deprivation” of the soul can have a deleterious effect on the body, as with “busy-bodying” (meaningless or mindless work). 

May G-d bless you for reading (or even skimming) this far.

Sincerely,

The Catholic Behavior Analyst

If you liked this article, please consider sending $1 or more to my wife, Rachel.  Any donations go directly to her because she is the one who makes sacrifices for me to write.  You can Venmo her at @Rachel-Clem-2

Bio & Disclaimer: 

Joseph (Joey) Clem is a Catholic licensed behavior analyst in Virginia. He is a husband, father, and lifetime full member in Youth Apostles.  He works primarily with children diagnosed with Autism and volunteers in youth ministry.  This article does not constitute professional advice or services.  All opinions and commentary of the author are his own and are not endorsed by any governing bodies, licensing or certifying boards, companies, or any third-party.